Have you ever lost your why?

I lost mine again today. I was looking for it everywhere. In dirty laundry baskets and messy cupboards. My kids couldn’t bother to help me find it. My husband wasn’t around to help me look for it either. I started worrying. What if I never find my why again?

There are days when I know why I sit down to write. Some days it is simply to process what I feel God is speaking to me about. Knowing that there are some treasures to uncover in his wonderful Word. And like a little child on a treasure hunt, I delight in finding the gems he has hidden in plain sight; just for me.

Some days I write for that one person. The one that is stuck in the tower. The one who is entertaining the lies of an enemy who has stolen their identity. I create a lantern. I pray that they will follow it and discover that they belong in a Kingdom. To a Father who is relentless in celebrating them.

But today, my heart needed reminding that it is not just about revelation treasures or prodigal celebrations. Today, my heart needed more than a purpose or a cause. I needed to know that my Father delighted in me, just because I am his. Not because I am busy, going hard after all he has called me to do, but simply because I exist.

If I am created to be a living expression of his heart, then I need to sit close enough to hear his heartbeat. Just like the prodigal’s brother, I have been so busy with my Father’s business, that I have forgotten to enjoy life in his household.

“The father said, ‘My son, you are always with me by my side. Everything I have is yours to enjoy…”
Luke 15:31 TPT

When things started to quiet down for the evening, I took some time to come and sit in his presence. The privilege of coming before him, never ceases to amaze me. He is the Creator of the Universe! The King of Glory! The Almighty God! Saviour of the World!

But he is also my Father.

He is the One who smiles over me as I do my chores every day.

The One who is near when I need wisdom to raise my children.

The One who hears when I don’t even know how to express the thoughts of my heart.

The One who wipes away my tears when words fail me.

The One who tells me who I really am, when my failures come knocking on the door.

The One who picks me up when I know I have let him down.

The One who draws me close when I feel the need to run.

The One who sent his Son to die, so I could have life.

The One who chose me, when I wasn’t choosing him.

The One who is restoring all the years that were stolen, even the ones I squandered away.

The One who is but a glance away, never leaving me to struggle on my own.

He is my Why.

“You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory, honor, and power,
for you created all things,
and by your plan they were created and exist.”
Revelation 4:11 TPT


Today, I hear the Father saying: “Precious Child. You are my world. I am so proud of all the work you do for me, but that is not why I love you. I love you for who you are. You are mine. I enjoy you. I rejoice when you come close. When you listen for my heartbeat. Hear it beat with a fiery love for you. Love that will melt away your cares. Love that will never end. For you Love, are my Why. And I delight in you.” ❤

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