In fitful sobs, I threw my bag under the desk and flopped down on the bed. I had messed up, big time! My first proper job after graduating from university, and here I am, about to be fired for a stupid mistake. The new sales team went live with a new insurance product that morning. The problem was, they were giving the customers all the wrong information. And who trained them? Me!
The managing director of the call centre was livid. And I felt the sting of her wrath, on that dreadful Friday morning. I hadn’t even been in work for all but an hour, but I couldn’t bear the embarrassment or the fear of my imminent dismissal, so I grabbed my bag, jumped in my car and headed straight home.
This was my dream job. And I was about to kiss it goodbye! I would however, do my utter most to safe some face in the light of this disaster. I would resign before they could fire me. All weekend long, I worked on my letter of resignation. Going over it again and again. Thinking about how I could phrase it, so that I could leave with a little bit of my dignity in tact.
On Sunday evening, as I was getting ready to go to bed, I noticed my Living Bible sitting on my desk. It had been a long time since I parted the covers. I picked it up, blew away the dust, and randomly opened it. My eye fell on Ecclesiastes 10:4:
“If the boss is angry with you, don’t quit! A quiet spirit will quiet his bad temper.”
Suddenly, an other-worldly peace came upon me. All the fear and worry left in an instant. It didn’t even matter that my performance appraisal was scheduled for 9am that following morning. I tore up my letter of resignation, got into bed and fell into a peaceful sleep.
When I walked into my manager’s office on that Monday morning, he opened up the meeting by saying: “I am so sorry to hear about what happened on Friday and I just want you to know that I backed you up, one hundred percent. You were not given the updated training material from the Marketing team. It was not your fault.” To that, he added that he was very pleased with my performance and I was given a thirteen percent increase in my salary.
Blow me down! I could hardly believe it. Not just the surreal outcome of my performance appraisal, but that the Creator of Heaven and Earth would know about this detail, and prevent me from making the worse mistake of my life. Imagine, if I had stormed in there with a bad attitude and a cheeky letter of resignation.
That job was the foundation of my career in Learning and Development. At that time, in South Africa, jobs like that were few and far between. I was the only one in my group of graduates, who were in full time employment. And it put me in a position to help my parents, when they both lost their income shortly after this incident.
What makes this even more ridiculously awesome, is that at the time I was not really doing the “church-thing.” I was hardly reading my Bible. There were things I had seen happening in church, that disillusioned me about organised religion and the hypocrisy of those who practice it.
The fact that there was a God who was faithful to me, even when I wasn’t being faithful to him, stirred my heart to seek him out. I was done with religion, but I wasn’t done with God. I wanted to know the One who walked into my room that night and saved me. The One who pulled me back off the ledge.
I started going back to church; a mega one, where I could just be a number. And not the pastor’s kid. The dust didn’t settle on my Bible anymore, because I was ravenously digging into it every day. I joined a connect group and started sharing my journey. The leaders lovingly poured their revelation into me. I started growing. Slowly. Steadily.
There was so much to learn about this faithful Father.
“Even when we are too weak to have any faith left, he remains faithful to us and will help us, for he cannot disown us who are part of himself, and he will always carry out his promises to us.”
2 Timothy 2:13 TLB
Today, I would like to encourage you to turn to your faithful Father, no matter how you feel. Whether you are battle-weary or disillusioned. He is not a God of religion, he is a God of relationship. He is a Father, who is intimately acquainted with every detail of your life. And he is working all things together for your good. All things. The good and the bad.
He is a Father worth knowing.
Today, I hear the Father calling: “Faithful Child! There is no detail of your life that will escape my loving attention. My eyes are always on you, as I work to bring every detail of your life into complete perfection. Even when you look away for a moment, I do not lose sight of you. For you are precious to me. A pearl of the greatest price. Trust me with the details, and see me do more than you can ever hope, dream or imagine. For you, dear one, are my special treasure.” ❤