There are days when the past catches up with me and knocks the wind straight out of my sails. It sneaks in quietly and perch heavily on my shoulders. Quite unexpectedly, I might add. One minute I am running with purpose towards the joy set before me. And the next, I am trying to bear up under a heaviness that is difficult to explain to someone who hasn’t felt it before.
I was just cleaning the bathroom, while the kids were playing out and my husband was running some errands. I don’t know if it was the playlist that YouTube selected for me (as I didn’t really have the time or inclination to put one together), or just an outright onslaught from the enemy. Maybe it was the walk down memory lane, paved by songs I hadn’t heard in decades, that brought back the years that were stolen. Places I wish I could return to. Choices I could exchange for better ones. This time, with wisdom and foresight. Wouldn’t that be amazing?
Before I knew it, I had drifted into an old mindset. And I found myself spiral down into long forgotten places of despair. Now that I’m on the other side of the journey, it was surprising how quickly I managed to unravel! But that is the beauty of being in a familiar place, you know how to work your way around it, and find the exit signs.
Where I once had no hope, I now know Hope, personally. And I have learned some incredible truths when I walked through that valley the first time, and the second, and the third. Every time, I manage to escape a little quicker. The truths I have learned in the valley have become beacons for me, when I find myself under a dark cloud.
These are the things that I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt:
Another story is being written
I am part of a much bigger story. The time I have lost is but a drop in the bucket of eternity. The days that I’m mourning for, is nothing compared to the days ahead. There is a happily ever after that has been ordained for me, before I was created. A path designed, with me in mind, that leads to life. Abundant life.
“You saw who you created me to be before I became me! Before I’d ever seen the light of day, the number of days you planned for mewere already recorded in your book.”
Psalm 139:16 TPT
Every day is the start of a new chapter
There are new mercies every morning. There is freshly baked grace to feast on. It doesn’t matter what happened in the preceding chapters, the story is being developed and soon the antagonist will get his dues. The beginning does not even need to make sense for the end to be great. And a great ending is guaranteed. So, I am free to focus on today’s chapter.
“You keep every promise you’ve ever made to me!
Since your love for me is constant and endless,
I ask you, Lord, to finish every good thing that you’ve begun in me.”
Psalm 138:8 TPT
There is a trusted Author at work
The pressure is off when I surrender my pen. When I allow the Author to choose the plot twists and develop my character. It is when I start to question his thinking, his creativity, his plans for the rest of the story, that things start to get a little messy. My story is best, when I surrender it to him, without trying to influence the outcome. He is in the business of best sellers, he can be trusted. Absolutely.
“…looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Hebrews 12:2 NKJV
We are poetry in motion
The masterpiece that God is making from the bits and pieces of my life, present and past, does not have to be perfect or complete in order to be appreciated. I don’t have to be complete, before I can be enjoyed. God delights in me, as he working in me. He is perfecting me, as an expression of his heart. That is my purpose. We all share that purpose. The way he expresses his heart through me, will be different to the way he speaks through you. But we are all reflecting his glory, his character, his heart.
“We have become his poetry, a re-created people that will fulfill the destiny he has given each of us, for we are joined to Jesus, the Anointed One. Even before we were born, God planned in advance our destiny and the good works we would do to fulfill it!”
Ephesians 2:10 TPT
As that Memory Lane Playlist reminded me of all that I had lost, there was a song that rose up like an anthem from heaven. Natasha Bedingfield reminded me, that my story is not over yet. It has only just begun:
“Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten”
Every time, the enemy tells us that our story has ended or the book is closed, we have a choice. We can choose to align our thoughts and words with him and shelve the dreams that God put inside of us. Or we can take back the pen, and hand it to the Author of our faith. We can align our thoughts and words with him and decree: The best is yet to come!
Today, I pray that we will have the wisdom to recognise the untapped potential of the Words that our Author speaks about us. The Words he writes upon our hearts, as we become living expressions of his love and power upon the Earth. May we discover the adventure of following him through the twists and turns of our never-read-before story. May we have the courage to align our thoughts with his, and speak the Words he writes.
May we discover the joy and the beauty in the pages that are yet to be written.
Today, I see the Father smile: “Child of Wonder. It is time for you to dream again. It is time to dream with me. I do not force you to walk in the story that I have dreamed for your life. I invite you to co-create with me. Happily ever after takes shape as we dream and build together. It’s time to let go of the yesterday’s chapters. I am writing a new story. Will you join me in the adventure of discovering who you truly are? There are many adventures awaiting your yes! Don’t be afraid. Your story originated with me, and I will faithfully perfect it. Because your story, is my story. And mine is yours. You are the living expression of my heart. Let’s get writing!” ❤